AO – Page 274 – Pete's Limericks

Floppy

The IT girl his start-up’s recruited
He met at some bar and he rooted,
And just now again,
And again, if and when
He can get his damn hard drive rebooted!

Good housekeeping

She’d have done this before, was his guess.
“Hold my drink, I’ll slip out of this dress.
Saves dry-cleaning”, she said,
Then knelt down, gave him head,
Swallowed too, maybe just to save mess.

Define normal

At her boarding school, nights, in the dorm,
It was pretty much, frankly, the norm
That most girls shared a bed…
Well, we know where that led,
Though, most times, it was just to keep warm.

Rubbing her the wrong way

Back at school, girls gave other girls flowers,
And sometimes, at night, in the showers,
Rubbed each other’s cunts,
Tried to cum both at once
While we other girls watched and rubbed ours.

Between boyfriends

Between boyfriends, a bit of a drag,
With this guy she’s picked up, on a jag,
Some jock, just for the interim,
Not that much into him,
Someone to drink with and shag.

Omnibus

On the bus, when she noticed a draught,
She thought “Jesus! A girl must be daft!
Well, thank goodness I waxed!”
Then she shrugged and relaxed.
“Let them look if they want to!” she laughed.

Tedium

Bored and horny, she lounged about idly,
Blouse gaping, her thighs parted widely;
He looked up, a glance.
“Better put on some pants,
Or your cunt might catch cold,” he said snidely.

Mother-daughter talk

She’d developed a lovely blonde thatch,
And nice cupcake-sized titties to match;
Then one day she said “Mummy,
I think cum’s quite yummy,
And fucking’s the best! What’s the catch?”