AO – Page 275 – Pete's Limericks

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Though she did like the guy more than most,
“Leave no virgin unfucked” was his boast.
A few drinks in some bar,
Then a ride in his car,
Yep, she figured, her pussy was toast!

Reconciliation

When he found out his girlfriend was cheating,
He called her names not worth repeating,
(Okay, bitch and slut.)
He forgave her then, but,
Well, of course, her cute arse took some beating!

For better or worse

Well, he’s certainly unprepossessing,
She thought, while the groom was undressing.
Except for his cock!
The young bride gasped in shock,
And then fainted, poor thing! (A kind blessing!)

Not cock-a-hoop

To say “What a nice cock” would be trite.
It was pretty damn big, though, alright!
Well, we’ll jolly soon see!
She thought, cocking her knee.
It might not hit the spot, or it might!

God’s work

The Inquisitor scoffed, “She shall burn!
But repents not, as yet, I discern.
Let us flog those proud breasts!”
He exclaimed to his guests.
“Father Francis, I think it’s your turn.”

The common touch

“God!” she thought. “E’er so low one has stooped!
Being fucked like a whore! Rather pooped.”
It quite beggared belief!
What a blessed relief,
When he came, and his huge pizzle drooped!

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Refined tastes

She writhed, naked, and panted and sweated;
His wants and desires, unfettered,
Played out on her parts.
She succumbed to his arts,
His strange appetites hardly yet whetted!

Dining out

“Ya habibi”, he said. “Yes, I cheat,
But it’s not that your body’s not sweet!
Though it brings me delight,
It’s the same dish each night,
And, sometimes, a man craves for fresh meat!”