To us all come dark thoughts and unbidden,
Unspoken, consuming, but hidden,
Of old taboos broken,
And strange cravings woken,
Of acts and relations forbidden.
Tag: limerick
Intramural sports
A rebellious young lady from Dural
Found life there predictably rural.
She liked being screwed
Getting drunk and tattooed:
She was sort of a fuckable mural.
The meat market
Having sex is commodity trading,
A fact there’s no way of evading.
A fuck’s something of value
A girl wants to sell you:
Men, mostly, don’t need much persuading.
In the end, every girl has a price,
Call it courtship, or pleasure or vice.
It’s a market where man
Does the best that he can.
Like fine dining, with more or less spice
Then, of course, a wise man wants a taste.
For our purpose, presume the girl’s chaste;
If she makes the wrong call,
She’ll have given her all
To the wrong bloke, a shame and a waste!
Certain girls though, break out of the mould,
Not content to be bartered or sold.
The prospective young bride
Tries out men, to decide
Who’s to have her, to have and to hold!
Best laid plans
Though he tried out his best corny pick-up,
The girl whom he fancied his dick up
Said “No thanks. Get fucked,
I’m a bloke, nipped and tucked.”
Best laid plans tend to oft strike a hiccup!
Gin fling
He was named, shamed, and charged with assault,
But, in fairness, it wasn’t his fault:
They were both drunk on gin,
He was more out than in,
When the girl got cold feet and called halt.
Tooth and claw
She resisted, and fought tooth and claw;
She protested, and blasphemed and swore,
Till he got her tied up,
Naked, sunny-side-up,
Which, as cheating, of course, we deplore!
Love's wounds
A girl’s first fuck involves blood and gore:
When it’s over, her cunt might be sore,
But love’s wounds quickly heal,
And girls mostly feel
They wish that they’d done it before!
Twat
English girls call their pussy a twat,
From the Norse word for cleft, slit or slot.
It is not pronounced “twat”,
As in “don’t kick the cat”;
British women should know what they’ve got!
Stroppy
The girl had good cause to be stroppy;
Frustrated, her fanny all sloppy,
And he, this great dork,
After all his big talk,
With his dick bloody useless and floppy!
Technical virgin
Her claim, frankly, was hard to discount,
That she’d managed to make him dismount,
When he’d barely begun,
And, when all’s said and done,
Just the knob getting in doesn’t count!