“When one’s bored in one’s marriage, one cheats,”
Said her mother. “Some petty deceits
Are entailed, of course,
Lest it end in divorce.
And for God’s sake, do change the damn sheets!”
Tag: infidelity
The jealous wife
There she was, wearin’ nary a stitch,
With my husband, the slutty damn bitch!
I said, aimin’ my gun,
“Dirty cunt! Havin’ fun?”
She said “Shoot me! Just scratchin’ an itch.”
Welcome doormat
He went back to her, cheated and lied,
And was welcomed with legs open wide.
Just a slut, to be lenient,
Bloody convenient
Though, for a bit on the side!
Father knows best
“Well, my son, she’s a beautiful bride,”
Said his dad, “but still, cast your net wide.
She’s a good fuck, I know;
Keep your eyes open, though,
For the chance of a bit on the side!”
Best man
On the honeymoon, as she undressed,
The young bride, feeling guilty, confessed
That she’d fucked the best man,
Once, by chance, not by plan,
And the groom might come off second best!
Something fishy
So, the way that the cops heard him tell it, he
Swore he could, somehow, just smell it; he
Knew her own scent…
But that cummy smell meant
He should worry about her fidelity!
Those whom God hath joined together
She’d split many a marriage asunder,
Which was, of course, small cause for wonder;
Well, not to those matrons,
Whose husbands were patrons,
Whose bellies she’d damply been under!
Prenuptial
Though she sobbed, and her bare bosom heaved,
Swore she loved him, he wasn’t deceived,
And, at last, she confessed
That the child at her breast
Was not his, but alas, preconceived.
On the quiet
They’d been having it off on the quiet
For so long they’d ceased to deny it;
Their spouses, who knew,
Were both doing it too.
Well, back then, we all wanted to try it!
Truth hidden in plain sight
She came home to her husband afraid
That he’d know from her face that she’d strayed,
So she said to him (nude),
“God I need to be screwed!”
(A reliable trick of the trade.)