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Pete's Limericks

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Pete's Limericks

Month: April 2015

Glutted

His cold hands on this woman’s soft flank,
He regretted the cost, to be frank.
They’d had dinner, got drunk
Now his hard-on had shrunk.
He should just have stayed home, had a wank.

Author petePosted on April 30, 2015July 5, 2024Categories AOTags drunk, hard-on, limerick, wank

Imperfect recollection

Were her panties silk? Maybe just cotton.
Her tits? Were they big? He’d forgotten.
She’d seemed keen enough,
But it must have been bluff.
She’d cried after. He’d felt a bit rotten.

Author petePosted on April 30, 2015July 5, 2024Categories AOTags big tits, limerick, panties, silk, tits

Where angels fear to tread

Though she wasn’t completely opposed
To the game he so slyly proposed;
Ropes and blindfolds and such,
It all seemed a bit much,
But, then, might be quite fun, she supposed!

Author petePosted on April 29, 2015July 5, 2024Categories PGTags bondage, limerick

The dilemma

Though a virgin, be that as it may,
How else might she persuade him to stay?
If she gave in, said yes,
Would he love her, then, less,
Or the more, having gone all the way?

Author petePosted on April 29, 2015July 5, 2024Categories PGTags all the way, limerick, love, virgin, virginity

Square root

She’d made love to him, just on a dare,
So as not to be thought to be square,
Which she didn’t mind, but
To be then called a slut
Was inaccurate, harsh and unfair!

Author petePosted on April 29, 2015July 5, 2024Categories PGTags dare, limerick, slut

Do you have a reservation?

She had some reservations, quite rightfully;
“Suit yourself then!” he said spitefully.
“Fuck you! Okay!”
She said. “Have it your way!”
And it wasn’t so bad. Well, not frightfully.

Author petePosted on April 28, 2015July 5, 2024Categories AOTags fuck, limerick, seduction

Bad dream

As a girl how she’d longingly dreamed
Of her wedding night, flirted and schemed.
Now a bride! At long last!
He undressed… but aghast
At the sight of his penis, she screamed!

Author petePosted on April 28, 2015July 5, 2024Categories PGTags bride, limerick, penis, undressed, virgin, wedding night

The blushing bride

From the bride’s pussy slick moisture leaked.
Though she covered her eyes, she still peeked.
Her first glimpse of a cock!
She recoiled in shock.
“That can’t all fit inside me!” she squeaked.

Author petePosted on April 28, 2015July 5, 2024Categories AOTags bride, cock, limerick, pussy, virgin

Second prize

His first time, late at night, in the park…
Where’s her cunt? Take a stab in the dark…
It was warm, it was tight…
But, what with the poor light…
He was just a bit wide of the mark!

Author petePosted on April 14, 2015July 5, 2024Categories AOTags anal sex, cunt, first time, limerick

Brevity, the soul of wit

Her short skirt and tight blouse were suggestive;
The men standing round her grew restive.
“Garn! Show us some tit!”
Said one notable wit.
Her sharp glance proved that looks are deceptive.

Author petePosted on April 8, 2015July 5, 2024Categories PGTags limerick, looks are deceptive, short skirt, tight blouse, tit, tits

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