Giving in to her earnest betrothed,
She lay down with him, flushed and unclothed,
But his fevered caress,
And the sweat and the mess,
Made her think sex a thing to be loathed.
Tag: limerick
Fair game
Being reckless and devil-may-care,
She accepted a mischievous dare,
Being all in good fun,
To strip naked and run,
Being chased by some chaps round the square.
Of course all of the men were aware
That the lass had drunk more than her share,
But the girl had no shame,
Just a tart and fair game:
She was up for whatever, they’d swear!
Take the outfit she’d chosen to wear:
Low-cut blouse and a skirt up to there!
She undressed on the spot
Showed them all that she’d got:
A nice arse and my God, what a pair!
They yahooed when she stood there, all bare,
In the public bar’s fluorescent glare…
As she pouted and posed,
With her pink bits exposed,
All the lads had a jolly good stare!
They yelled “Go!” and one smacked her derriere.
She ran out of the pub like a hare,
Then the men took off too,
With great hullabaloo:
Jolly sport, as the Brits say, or rare!
Well, of course, the girl hadn’t a prayer.
A man shouted “Let’s give her a scare!”
She was caught, squeezed and groped,
Victors’ spoils they hoped.
No, in love and war, all isn’t fair!
A taste of honey
She was young, she was drunk and a honey,
Thought getting her tits out was funny!
The joke went too far:
She passed out in the bar,
And woke up, nude and screwed, in the dunny.
The company she keeps
At black masses, young witches consort
With the Devil and lewdly cavort.
They swallow the semens
Of beasts and of demons,
And burn at the stake, if they’re caught.
Old time religion
The old bishops of Rome once exhorted
That heretics had to be slaughtered,
Flayed, burnt at the stake,
(Though sometimes by mistake),
Jews and Protestants hung, drawn and quartered.
No picnic
Though she’d heard making love was no picnic:
Foreplay, she found out, was a quick lick,
A grope of her tits,
(Which just thrilled her to bits),
And then in to the hilt with his thick prick.
Blind Freddie
A young woman, who scorned underwear,
Said “I like a cool breeze under there,
And I shave off the hair,
And bend over a chair,
So Blind Freddie can fuck me, not wonder where!”
A pirate's life
A pirate’s life’s all blood and thunder;
They rape and they pillage and plunder,
Take lesser men’s lives,
Ravish daughters and wives,
Tearing clothing and hymens asunder.
One man’s paradise
There was once an old islamic mullah,
Whose love-life could not have been duller.
He craved after-life,
With no nagging old wife,
Full of virgins of each race and colour!
Inky
She was pierced and studded and inky,
Her dress was revealing and slinky.
She purred, as he gaped,
“First, I want to be raped,
Then perhaps something rather more kinky.