limerick – Page 369 – Pete's Limericks

The dish and the spoon

It began watching each other piddle,
Progressed to a mutual fiddle;
The two childhood friends
(Can you guess how it ends?)
Became fuck-buddies! Hey-diddle-diddle!

Callow youth

He was just a youth, callow and gangling;
Between those slim legs, though, was dangling
A prick like a horse,
Which she fancied, of course,
And would have, his with her legs entangling!

Of human bondage

“She’s a pain slut” they said, on the quiet;
He asked her. She didn’t deny it.
“It’s weird, I know.”
She said, smiling, “Although,
You might get off yourself, if you try it!”

Slight imperfection

Young and innocent, highly respectable,
Totally bloody delectable!
Taken to bed,
“Now I’m ruined!” she said,
Though the damage was barely detectable.

Tempting fate 1

“My good man,” said the Countess, quite terse,
“We’re alone, then, for better or worse…
You might ravish me, say…
Force yourself, have your way…
To which fate I would not be averse.”

Tempting fate 2

“Oh my god! What on earth was I thinking,
To come to your room?” she said, winking.
“I might have escaped;
Now I’ll likely be raped!
But perhaps that’s all just wishful thinking!

Stage-fright

Sequins, feathers, abundant young curves,
She said “God! I’m a bundle of nerves!
What would Mum and Dad think
Of me, flashing the pink
To a roomful of drunken old pervs?”