By unscrupulous means and invidious,
Dirty tricks, nasty, insidious,
Brought to his bed…
The fuck, later she said,
Was disgustingly horrid, quite hideous!
Tag: limerick
In praise of the juniper berry
To make his seduction plan viable,
Gin would be pretty reliable;
Blotto enough,
She might not give a stuff…
Or at least become frisky and pliable.
Contingency planning
- Handcuffs
- Blindfold
- KY
- Condoms
- Gag
Well, a fellow’s hard up for a shag!
Might not need them, although,
If the damn girl says no,
A fuck’s still pretty much in the bag!
Lonesome cowboy
He approached her, said “Howdy there, ma’am!
I need cash, but this ain’t no damn scam;
Just, I’m handsome and young,
And I’m pretty well-hung.
If you want a good root, here I am!”
Social intercourse
Though they hadn’t been introduced formally,
Though she would never have normally
Rooted the man,
Still it somehow began,
And continued, discreetly, if stormily!
Never to be repeated offer
Husky-voiced, dusky-skinned, musky-scented;
Big-bosomed, all girl, not augmented;
And hymen intact!
(Well, in actual fact,
Though not broken, extensively dented.)
Gigolo
Just a gigolo, handsome, slim-hipped,
Charming, perfumed, well-dressed, Jagger-lipped.
Women paid him for sex,
(Cash, no cards and no cheques),
For which task he was damn well equipped!
The cad
The term cad would be fairly applicable.
God! The damn man was despicable!
Rude, selfish beast!
Was a woman, at least,
If not fuckable, possibly lickable?
Making a spectacle of oneself
As a rule, self-possessed and reserved,
She now found herself rather unnerved;
Getting off on her hand,
One could not understand
Why the bastard just sat there and perved!
Wishful thinking
Getting older, still virgin, such lust!
It’s a case of get rooted or bust!
Drooping tits, pushing thirty,
Thoughts constantly dirty,
Her pussy just gathering dust!