The monks fucked Sister Joan on a roster,
Reciting, meanwhile Pater Noster;
Mouth, bottom as well!
Would she then burn in Hell?
Or was God, like the monks, an imposter?
Splashing in the bilges
The ship’s cook loves a root, and to earn
A few bucks, the crew fuck her in turn;
A quick brush of the lips,
Then it’s stowed amidships,
Mostly fore, till it’s sore, then astern!
Number one wife
Tā de zhàngfu yǒu yīge dá diăo.
Bĭshĭ tā bú chéng yīge lăo piáo,
Bĭshĭ yě bú fābiāo,
Tā gěi hěn duō kǒujiāo
Měige wăn, bāng tā fàngsōng, shuì jiào!
她的 丈夫 有 一个 大 吊。
俾使 他 不 成 一个 老嫖，
俾使 也 不发飙，
她 给 很 多口交，
每个 晚，帮 他 放松，睡觉！
Her old man’s cock’s quite huge and, because
He might otherwise stick it in whores,
She gives plenty of head,
And he fucks her instead,
Till he’s worn out and smilingly snores!
Detour
They had sex every Thursday, which suited…
She’d dressed… but his ardour rebooted…
She mildly protested
But, easily bested,
Was soon unzipped, stripped and rerooted!
The shrew
He liked sex, but his sex drive was flagging;
His shrew of a wife and her nagging,
Her cold, mocking tone
Put him off, while her own
Tits and arse, all her best bits, were sagging!
Truth hurts
She complained to the court she’d been slandered;
“He called me a slut!” she expanded.
“These days, I’m afraid,
Said the judge, “Getting laid
Quite a lot, although sluttish, is standard!”
Sizing up
She found sex to be fairly essential,
Her lovers short term and sequential;
Good looks, sexy voice
Didn’t dictate her choice;
A big cock was the vital credential!
She told her so
Her mum shouted “Well, what did I tell you?
I said don’t take men at face value!
They promise the earth…
But there’s no virgin birth!
You deserve ev’rything that befell you!”
Blame it on the Spencer Davis Group
Her sex drive was just too strong to govern;
Her motto was “Gimme some lovin’!”
She thought she was cool,
But before she left school,
There she was, with a bun in the oven!
Hard bargain
“No gold ring, no damn fuck!” They’d reached deadlock.
The old philosophical headlock;
He wanted a root?
Better buy a new suit,
And submit to good old holy wedlock!