Mistress Emily’s prone to abscond
With the groom, of whom Emily’s fond,
And indulge in lewd sport,
At which, if she were caught,
All would call her redemption beyond.
Category: PG
Parental guidance recommended
Clark Gable
That old debonair bastard, Clark Gable,
Without pause or tiring, was able
To fuck first young starlets,
Then stray girls and harlots:
A stud indeed! More like a stable!
Medusa
Her loins gripped, like the coils of Medusa,
The prick of her would-be seducer,
Who cried, “I shan’t hurt you!
I’ll honour your virtue…
If you could just make your thighs looser!
Bush ballad
She was blessed with a lush, bouncy bush,
Through which, gosh, it was lovely to push!
But a faulty hair-dryer,
One night, caused a fire:
Sniff. What’s that? Whizz! Crackle! Bang! Whoosh!
Booze and romance
She was dressed in a way to provoke,
To turn on any red-blooded bloke,
Who perceived a fair chance,
After booze and romance,
She might just let him give her a poke.
Dark thoughts
To us all come dark thoughts and unbidden,
Unspoken, consuming, but hidden,
Of old taboos broken,
And strange cravings woken,
Of acts and relations forbidden.
The meat market
Having sex is commodity trading,
A fact there’s no way of evading.
A fuck’s something of value
A girl wants to sell you:
Men, mostly, don’t need much persuading.
In the end, every girl has a price,
Call it courtship, or pleasure or vice.
It’s a market where man
Does the best that he can.
Like fine dining, with more or less spice
Then, of course, a wise man wants a taste.
For our purpose, presume the girl’s chaste;
If she makes the wrong call,
She’ll have given her all
To the wrong bloke, a shame and a waste!
Certain girls though, break out of the mould,
Not content to be bartered or sold.
The prospective young bride
Tries out men, to decide
Who’s to have her, to have and to hold!
Gin fling
He was named, shamed, and charged with assault,
But, in fairness, it wasn’t his fault:
They were both drunk on gin,
He was more out than in,
When the girl got cold feet and called halt.
A curious dish
That there mermaid’s a curious dish,
A strange creature, half woman, half fish.
From the tail to hips,
You could eat her with chips,
From there up, do rude things, if you wish!
Go figure
If you know a cute girl’s bra and panty size,
Knowing them helps when you fantasise.
If she finds out
You’ve been sneaking about,
Do your best to explain and romanticise.