There’s an awful infection called thrush,
Which makes sufferers constantly blush,
When they’re driven to scratch
In the depths of their thatch,
With a fingernail, chopstick or brush.
Category: AO
Adults only
Scabies
It’s a dreadful contagious thing, scabies;
You’ll get it, no ifs, buts or maybes,
From being too close
To a girl with a dose,
Who may also have herpes and tabes.
Orthopaedic surgery
A surgeon of some reputation
Fell foul of intense litigation;
An innocent slip
Made a right below hip
Of a left below knee amputation.
Sexually transmitted diseases
Other people’s small parts may drip pus,
With a lot of concomitant fuss;
It’s a nuisance, of course,
Which engenders remorse
In those poor folk concerned (never us!)
Pediculosis pubis 2
It detracts from the fun of one’s vice
If the lady sets too high a price,
Or if some nasty bitch
Makes one’s genitals itch
With a dose of the dreaded crab-lice
Torsion of the testis
When one’s testis develops a torsion,
The whole ball, or only a portion,
Take this delicate gland
In the palm of your hand,
And proceed to a surgeon with caution.
The vagus nerve
The deliciously sensitive tragus
In part’s innervated by vagus,
And this is, of course,
The most probable source
Of untimely erections which plague us!
Candidiasis
If afflicted with genital thrush,
Try an old-fashioned vinegar flush;
If the itch is exquisite,
When friends come to visit,
Scratch boldly, don’t fidget or blush!
Varicocoele
Your pampiniform plexus is such
It may feel like worms to the touch;
Then your testis may shrink
As it does when you drink
For too long, or perhaps just too much.
Medical students
A certain young medical student
Was thought by his colleagues too prudent;
A lady from Med
Stretched her length on his bed,
And said “Please, if you would,” but he wouldn’t!