Once I had a wild lover called Joan,
Who knew every erogenous zone.
She would stimulate mine,
Which was perfectly fine,
Then we’d both get to work on her own.
It’s a fact ladies often bemoan,
That their needs remain mostly unknown,
Yet the man in the street
Can put women on heat
With a few clever tricks, when once shown.
Men and boys, thrill your girl to the bone!
Ladies, pair up, or practise alone!
Learn the places to touch,
And with what, and how much,
To elicit that orgasmic moan.
Category: AO
Adults only
Mammaries
The remarkable mammary gland,
The exposure of which was once banned,
Can be used as an udder
Or make grown men shudder
By just lying there in their hand.
The spirit is willing
The flesh weakens, sometime after forty:
Your penis grows wrinkled and warty.
Erections are fewer,
Their timing unsure,
Your thoughts, nonetheless, are still naughty!
Pearl jam
There’s a beautiful sad evanescence,
A poignant pique in tumescence:
One moment of rapture
We cannot recapture,
Then nought but a sticky excrescence.
The bind
Having suitably been wined and dined,
A girl’s placed in a bit of a bind:
She can either say no,
Put her coat on and go,
Or give in and make payment in kind.
Made for it
It’s a marvel, how girls are designed,
Nicely padded, in front and behind,
With appropriate slots
In the handiest spots:
You’d have thought God had fucking in mind!
The revelation
There was a young lady called Chris,
Who thought fucking was absolute bliss.
She had nothing but pity
For girls who, though pretty,
Still just used their fannies to piss!
Versatile
It’s the nature of women to bleed,
From the place whence I thought they just peed,
And this versatile slot
Is the very same spot
Where a man, if he can, squirts his seed!
Quirk of fate
An old codger stared deep in his beer,
Beset by irrational fear,
That some quirk of fate
Made him fancy his mate,
And he might, without knowing, be queer!
Tell him he’s dreaming
On the whole it seems best to avoid
Any hint of acceptance of Freud:
There’s a lingering stink
About Sigmund, I think,
Of the faeces with which he once toyed.