A true gentleman rightly defers
To the lady, asks which she prefers…
The verb “fuck”, furthermore,
Needs an object, before
One can know to which hole it refers.
Author: pete
Breakfast in bed
Her cunt smelt like fresh sourdough bread,
Tasted salty, sweet, yeasty, he said,
And he kissed her, to share.
She said “Get back down there!
Who needs breakfast? Just eat me instead!”
Maid in China
Tā shì hěn fēijīchăng, wǒ zhīdao,
Kěshì hěn xĭhuan kǒujiāo hé cào!
Měi yī tiān, měi ge wăn,
Tā yào chuī xião, chăo fàn!
Wǒ hěn gāoxìng, wǒ sān cì dă pào!
她 是 很 飞机场，我 知道，
可是 很 喜欢 口交 和 肏操。
每一 天， 每个 晚
她 要 吹箫，炒饭！
我 很 高兴， 我 三次 打泡！
She’s as flat as a pancake, I know,
But gives great head, and never says no!
She’d fuck all day and night,
Give me blow jobs… Alright!
I’ll come once, twice, three times in a row!
A nod as good as a wink
Having kissed her of course, which he has,
Squeezed her tits, grabbed her snatch, all that jazz,
Got some head, what the hell,
Then a man might as well
Say they’ve fucked, or at least as good as!
Indulgence
The monks fucked Sister Joan on a roster,
Reciting, meanwhile Pater Noster;
Mouth, bottom as well!
Would she then burn in Hell?
Or was God, like the monks, an imposter?
Splashing in the bilges
The ship’s cook loves a root, and to earn
A few bucks, the crew fuck her in turn;
A quick brush of the lips,
Then it’s stowed amidships,
Mostly fore, till it’s sore, then astern!
Number one wife
Tā de zhàngfu yǒu yīge dá diăo.
Bĭshĭ tā bú chéng yīge lăo piáo,
Bĭshĭ yě bú fābiāo,
Tā gěi hěn duō kǒujiāo
Měige wăn, bāng tā fàngsōng, shuì jiào!
她的 丈夫 有 一个 大 吊。
俾使 他 不 成 一个 老嫖，
俾使 也 不发飙，
她 给 很 多口交，
每个 晚，帮 他 放松，睡觉！
Her old man’s cock’s quite huge and, because
He might otherwise stick it in whores,
She gives plenty of head,
And he fucks her instead,
Till he’s worn out and smilingly snores!
Detour
They had sex every Thursday, which suited…
She’d dressed… but his ardour rebooted…
She mildly protested
But, easily bested,
Was soon unzipped, stripped and rerooted!
The shrew
He liked sex, but his sex drive was flagging;
His shrew of a wife and her nagging,
Her cold, mocking tone
Put him off, while her own
Tits and arse, all her best bits, were sagging!
Truth hurts
She complained to the court she’d been slandered;
“He called me a slut!” she expanded.
“These days, I’m afraid,
Said the judge, “Getting laid
Quite a lot, although sluttish, is standard!”