September 2026 – Page 4 – Pete's Limericks

Anything

A good sort, a good sport, more than most…
Up for anything… that was her boast,
Threesome, orgy, you bet!
Bondage, whips get her wet…
Gang bang, yep… or a lovely spit roast!

Shrinking violet

Good God! What will the poor woman think?
There she is , naked, flashing the pink,
Winking, pussy lips spread,
And him, sweating, face red,
As his penis continues to shrink!

Jolly rogered

At the end of the gang-plank she teetered,
Abused and stripped naked, defeated…
Called names, made to screw
The whole damn pirate crew…
What a way for a girl to be treated!

The chat

She said “Darling, we must have a chat
So we know where each other is at…
I love sex, hard and rough
Bondage, whips, all that stuff
Gang bangs too, and bukkake… all that.

Unlucky number

“Oh my God!” he thought. “Fuck! Epic fail!”
Like any damn red-blooded male,
He’d fucked her, the slut
Very nice, indeed, but
Just fifteen! He could go to damn jail!

The naked ape

His big cock was distinctly impressive…
His use of it over-aggressive…
His chest-thumping too,
Like an ape in a zoo
Was, she thought… altogether excessive!

Seamen

So, she’s saved up and gone on a cruise…
Fancy food, sunshine, deck chairs and booze…
Gonna get herself screwed
She wants cock, to be crude,
And she don’t care how many, or whose!

Wish list

All the men that she’s dated were jerks…
Piss, bukkake… they all had their quirks…
She just wants some guy, young,
With good hands, a good tongue…
A nice cock, a tight ass, the whole works!

Cougar

Will she fuck him or not? Food for thought…
Though she could, if she should… if she ought…
Young… he could be her son…
Still, it might be quite fun…
And she’s hooked him… why not have some sport?