In Australia, a pickup’s a ute,
If a car has a trunk it’s a boot.
Also, so there’s no doubt,
Yanks pronounce this word “route”,
But in Oz, as in “fuck”, we say “root”.
Month: October 2025
Stymied
She undressed, and he muttered “Gorblimey!”
Her cunt, though lubriciously slimy,
Looked too small by half…
“What?” she said with a laugh.
“Stick it in… it won’t hurt to just try me!”
Affairs of state
The young duchess enjoys fornication,
With spooks… once a whole delegation!
The odd Russian spy…
The duke turns a blind eye…
It’s gung-ho, for the good of the nation!
Cost / benefit analysis
“Though the slut does present herself laudably,”
One of the chaps muttered audibly,
“Ten quid’s a lot…
No, I rather think not…
We could rape her so much more affordably!”
Wrong in so many ways
“What’s yer hurry?” she breathlessly chides,
“Yer big cock’s stirrin’ up me insides…
What the fuck? Sorry… heck?
Gunna come out me neck!
An’ it’s up the wrong hole, too, besides!”
In the frame
What a fucking amusing charade,
Half a gang bang and half masquerade…
Superman, the Hulk too,
Mickey Mouse, god knows who…
Poor Snow White… airtight too, I’m afraid!
Above his station
“Please don’t cum in my pussy,” she said,
“I can jerk you or suck you instead…
You are not of my class…”
So, deep throat, then her arse,
Then her cunt… that’s her fuckin’ well bred!
The human race
“Men,” she said, “are just human resources.
Why marriages, nasty divorces?
Just fuck them and leave…
Want to know my pet peeve?
It’s that more of them aren’t hung like horses!”
Opportunity knocking
When he threatened to rape her she wept…
Still a virgin, quite pure… except
She had impure thoughts…
And his offer… of sorts…
She should gratefully, maybe, accept.
Vanilla
Ultimatum, a line in the sand…
She said “Fucking you’s terribly bland,
Nothing kinky, no force…
Let’s just bloody divorce…
I’d much rather just get off by hand!”