He’d come home most nights already plastered,
And fuck her for hours, the bastard!
He’d loved her, no doubt,
Then the money ran out.
“Well,” she thought, ” it was fun while it lasted!”
Month: January 2017
Etiquette
One is not so much mutton, she fumed,
To be drooled over, fucking consumed!
Stuffed with forcemeat, perhaps?
God! The nerve of these chaps!
Better bred, one had hoped, or presumed!
The low moral ground
“God! You smell like low tide in a marsh!”
She exclaimed, which he thought a bit harsh.
“Wash or shave, you choose which;
You’ve been fucking some bitch,
And her cunt’s still all through your moustache!”
The tools of seduction
Young and foolish, a bit of a rager,
Be up for whatever, he’d wager!
A couple more drinks,
She’ll be ready, he thinks…
Bondage, whips (all good fun, nothing major!)
Logical phallusy
She was pretty, but too intellectual…
Contemplate anything sexual,
First she’d ask why,
Then compose a reply,
Predicated on being contextual.
Backhanded compliment
Did the damn woman mean to be humorous?
“God!” she said. “Though I’ve seen numerous
Cocks in my day,
That huge thing, I must say,
Takes the cake! Is it possibly tumorous?”
All cats are grey in the dark
He just wanted some pussy, some bint,
But was hard up. In fact he was skint,
So he’d have to make do,
If he wanted a screw,
With the whore with the hare-lip and squint.
A keeper
He’d had plenty of girlfriends, like. Heaps!
She was nice, but it gave him the creeps,
Though they’d fucked, fair enough,
If she was up the duff,
As it seemed, this one might be for keeps!
Retail therapy
Though his penis, in fact, was quite whopping,
She wouldn’t have minded just stopping;
Just say “For God’s sake!
Can’t we take a damn break?”
And get up and maybe, like, go shopping!”
Soft selling
Soft in all the right places, sweet-smelling;
She winked, and he felt his cock swelling!
No harm, then, in trying,
Let on he was buying,
Depending on if she was selling!