randy – Pete's Limericks

Brandy

After one glass of whisky or brandy,
Amanda gets terribly randy,
Bestowing affection,
Without circumspection,
On whom-or-whatever is handy!

The silly season

In an excess of mad festive folly,
Stark naked, there, under the holly,
Damn randy, well pissed,
In the mood to be kissed,
Or be fucked perhaps… That would be jolly!

Snap snap!

She’d put out, and before very long,
Randy bitch, she was comin’ on strong…
Pokin’ out them big tits,
Horny out of her wits,
Jeans half-down, like, an’ snappin’ her thong!

Easy to please

Getting-off-wise, she’s not too selective…
Just make herself come’s the objective!
A man, if one’s handy,
Or else, when she’s randy,
A bottle or carrot’s effective.

Life’s a bitch

After five or six beers, she’s groggy…
And randy! Her knickers are soggy!
Next thing she knows, she’s
On her hands and her knees,
Being rooted by somebody, doggy!

Sabbatical

Wretched, treacherous, lecherous priest!
When she cried, his lust only increased!
In her prayers, she thanked God
That the randy old sod
Didn’t fuck her on Sundays at least.

Shortening the odds

With the chance of a root looking slimmer,
Her randiness down to a simmer,
She hitched up her skirt.
“One more drink wouldn’t hurt,
Would it, though?” she thought, hope just a glimmer.

Young and restless

She was gawky, ill-mannered and restive,
Her clothing immodest, suggestive,
But randy as hell,
Her tits perky as well,
And the nipple rings certainly festive!