As he burst in on Madam’s seclusion,
Said Jenkins, “Forgive my intrusion,
But cook’s run amuck,
And I thought we might fuck,
While the household is still in confusion.”
Tag: limerick
Unbridled lust
Wearing nothing but reins and a saddle
Dame Edith, with chauffeur astraddle,
Her buttocks red raw,
Pranced about on the floor,
Shouting “Home James, and don’t spare the paddle!”
Knowing one’s place
When one’s forebears are by and large royal,
One does rather shirk honest toil,
And also expect
That girls show their respect,
And lie down and act suitably loyal.
Game
A young gamekeeper, doing his rounds,
Saw the mistress out walking the grounds:
He eyed Lady Chatterley,
Dressed rather nattily,
Tongue hanging out like his hound’s!
Ill repute
Lady Sarah Smythe-Jones, by repute,
Leads a life, in a word, dissolute:
She drinks only champagne,
Likes her sex mixed with pain,
And quite likes the alternative route.
Rain
If you’re stuck in the rain in Rangoon,
A loose woman’s a fabulous boon:
You can endlessly screw her,
Do other things to her,
And never go out until June!
The giveaway
Sobbed the maid,”I’ve been diddled and pawed!
My poor teats have been nibbled and gnawed!
Lord Hugh never behaved
So uncouth and depraved:
I suspect that you, sir, are a fraud!
Urge
As the cook kneaded dough for his pasta,
Being watched by her lecherous master,
Her dress became wet
With her sweet-smelling sweat,
As he urged her to knead his dough faster!
The sitting
Lady Swandown agreed to be painted:
“By art,” she said, “one can’t be tainted.”
She gladly posed nude,
But refused to be screwed,
And yet was, when he flashed, and she fainted.
Plummy
I’ve a penchant for lasses whose mums
Make them speak with a mouthful of plums,
Who wear tight skirts and heels,
Which nicely reveals
The sway of their silken-smooth bums.