limerick – Page 413 – Pete's Limericks

Self-sufficiency

Bossy doormen, drunk men and high prices,
She’s over them! Now it suffices
To surf porn online,
With a bottle of wine,
Left, by choice, to her own sweet devices!

Accessibility

She seemed unattached, friendly, accessible,
Nice body, age quite unguessable,
Someone of whom,
Once upstairs in his room,
Hidden parts might prove soft and caressable!

Fourth decade blues

You could call it the fourth decade blues
After work, travel, boyfriends and booze,
Women start to think, maybe,
It’s time for a baby,
And don’t give a flying fuck whose.

Disillusionment

While she sucked it, and gave it a crank,
She thought “This isn’t love, to be frank.
I’m just a receptacle,”
(Cynical, sceptical),
“Someone inside whom to wank!”

50’s wife

There she stood, wearing only a smile,
And stilettos! He liked the girl’s style!
“Shall I pour you a drink?
Or…, ” she said with a wink.
Life seemed, suddenly, so, so worthwhile!

Alpha male

“Should I fuck him?” she thinks. “Yes! I will!”
Just the thought of it gives her a chill!
Such a big, ugly brute,
Quite a challenge to root!
What a wild, crazy risk! What a thrill!

A clowther of cats

Getting sex, cash, by far’s, most effective;
A rich guy can be more selective.
Big tits? A nice bum?
Fuck them all, or just some?
Pussy glut! What’s the proper collective?

Pub ethics

Say you’ve gone to the pub, for a quaff,
You go out for a piss, at the trough,
There’s this other guy there;
If it’s big, should you stare
At his cock? Might it not piss him off?

Expectation and reality

She objected, to her mind, quite rightly:
He’d kissed and caressed her so lightly,
It came as a shock,
When he stuck in his cock,
That he did so so deeply and tightly!