She complained to the court she’d been slandered;
“He called me a slut!” she expanded.
“These days, I’m afraid,
Said the judge, “Getting laid
Quite a lot, although sluttish, is standard!”
Tag: limerick
Sizing up
She found sex to be fairly essential,
Her lovers short term and sequential;
Good looks, sexy voice
Didn’t dictate her choice;
A big cock was the vital credential!
She told her so
Her mum shouted “Well, what did I tell you?
I said don’t take men at face value!
They promise the earth…
But there’s no virgin birth!
You deserve ev’rything that befell you!”
Blame it on the Spencer Davis Group
Her sex drive was just too strong to govern;
Her motto was “Gimme some lovin’!”
She thought she was cool,
But before she left school,
There she was, with a bun in the oven!
Hard bargain
“No gold ring, no damn fuck!” They’d reached deadlock.
The old philosophical headlock;
He wanted a root?
Better buy a new suit,
And submit to good old holy wedlock!
First world problem
A bit nympho, a trifle bipolar;
Beef, climate change, chickens, Ebola
Her malady’s source;
She was vegan, of course,
All her sex toys organic and solar!
Pimp my bride
Love betrayed! What a snake in the grass!
To be pimped! Such heartache! So low class!
Her illusions dispelled,
She danced nude, while he yelled,
“Swing your tits more, and shake your fat arse!”
The idea of sex
Though, her whole life, she’d dreaded and loathed
The idea of sex, once betrothed,
Having kissed him, she found
She liked playing around
And, in fact was the first one unclothed!
Ban the burqa
Between her thighs crouching may lurk a
Mad muslim, a Russian, a Turk, a
Drug fiend, and her breasts
Might be suicide vests…
God! Who knows what she’s got in her burqa?
The ruined damsel
Pussy gaping and dribbling, fresh-poked,
“Alas, ruined, poor damsel!” she joked.
“Yep, that’s it, now, I guess;
I’m a slut, more or less!
Times like this, a girl wishes she smoked!”