It’s your time of the month, and you’re bleeding;
You’re better off lying or pleading
A headache, some bug,
Than to pull out the plug.
Just say no and catch up on your reading.
Tag: limerick
Period. Full stop.
Bloody periods, monthlies, the curse!
Bloody tampons fall out of your purse.
Not much chance of a fuck,
A girl’s shit out of luck,
Nor of being gone down on, what’s worse!
Who’d be a woman?
“Men!” she said. “They don’t know how it feels!
Half starved all the time, skipping meals!
And waxing our pubes!
Saving up for new boobs!
Fucking g-strings, and fucking high heels!”
Venus and Mars
Said a puzzled young woman from Venus,
“This Homo’s a curious genus;
They hang round in bars,
Like those pricks up on Mars,
Paying women to sit on their penis!”
A warm day in a punt
Though her parents were watchful and doting,
One Sunday, at Oxford, out boating,
A fellow called Howard, her
Cousin, deflowered her,
Both, of course, secretly gloating!
Winner take all
Southern belle, Mississipppi’s fair jewel,
But cold-hearted, wicked and cruel,
On many a morning
She stood watching, yawning,
Two lovers engaged in a duel!
Domestic bliss
Everything to her husband’s a crisis,
A lost phone, the stock-market prices.
Annoying, no doubt,
But to help him chill out,
A quick fuck or a blow job suffices.
Social intercourse
The poor man, mooning round like a calf!
Quite besotted, it seemed! One must laugh!
Yes… it was a mistake…
But one fuck? For God’s sake…
Though in front of the whole household staff!
The glass ceiling
To get on, she’d dress sexy and flirt,
For a laugh, cautious, always alert.
She just had a strong feeling,
Once through the glass ceiling,
The bastards would look up her skirt!
Courting customs
In most parts of the world, folks fuck starkers,
Though inuits keep on their parkas,
Those maori tattoos
Point out which woman’s whose,
And for foreplay, they dance naked hakas.