She thought sex, just like food, quite essential.
Her lovers were mostly sequential…
Though some were extraneous…
Contemporaneous…
(All of this quite confidential.)
Tag: limerick
Anthropology 102
Sex is simply arranged by the Maoris,
All done by the payment of dowries;
A fellow might pay
For a virgin, let’s say,
A few pigs and a basket of cowries.
Pre-feminism
With a pussy as snug as a thimble,
Athletic, inventive and nimble,
She loved a good root,
But her great disrepute
Made her less than a feminist symbol!
Hard luck story
Her professions of love were all sham,
Cries of being hard up just a scam.
He suggested a fuck
Might perhaps change her luck
But, quite frankly, he gave not a damn!
Innocent until proven guilty
Not as innocent as she pretends,
What she’ll let you do rather depends…
If she likes what she sees,
She’ll say yes (or yes, please),
And decide then how far yes extends.
Good night, Sir Knight
Knightly heroes, in sonnet and ballad,
Saved maidens, soft, gentle and pallid,
From dragons and such,
Who said “Thanks very much!
Want a root?” (Strike out “virgin”. Not valid.)
Book of the month
It’s your time of the month, and you’re bleeding;
You’re better off lying or pleading
A headache, some bug,
Than to pull out the plug.
Just say no and catch up on your reading.
Period. Full stop.
Bloody periods, monthlies, the curse!
Bloody tampons fall out of your purse.
Not much chance of a fuck,
A girl’s shit out of luck,
Nor of being gone down on, what’s worse!
Who’d be a woman?
“Men!” she said. “They don’t know how it feels!
Half starved all the time, skipping meals!
And waxing our pubes!
Saving up for new boobs!
Fucking g-strings, and fucking high heels!”
Venus and Mars
Said a puzzled young woman from Venus,
“This Homo’s a curious genus;
They hang round in bars,
Like those pricks up on Mars,
Paying women to sit on their penis!”