She thought “Jesus, I must have been drunk!”
When she woke up in bed with some punk.
He was hairy and gross,
Snuggled up way too close,
And her cunt was still full of his gunk!
Tag: drunk
Dilemma
They’d got drunk, and she gave him a stroke:
So he thought “Well, why not go for broke?”
But she went and passed out,
Which then rather cast doubt
On his chances, and what if she woke?
Friends
When a man and a woman are friends,
If they fuck or not mostly depends
On how horny they are,
And how drunk, and how far
They imagine that friendship extends.
Sugar and spice
She dressed sexy, to tease and entice,
And wore perfume, for sugar and spice;
She’d go out and get plastered,
And some lucky bastard
Would fuck her, (or two, or the same fellow twice!)
Bottoms up!
For a girl, she could handle her grog,
Till she passed out, and slept like a log.
When she rolled up her eyes,
Her skirt rucked up her thighs,
He thought “Fuck it! Why not, you sly dog?”
Intramural sports
A rebellious young lady from Dural
Found life there predictably rural.
She liked being screwed
Getting drunk and tattooed:
She was sort of a fuckable mural.
Gin fling
He was named, shamed, and charged with assault,
But, in fairness, it wasn’t his fault:
They were both drunk on gin,
He was more out than in,
When the girl got cold feet and called halt.
Fair game
Being reckless and devil-may-care,
She accepted a mischievous dare,
Being all in good fun,
To strip naked and run,
Being chased by some chaps round the square.
Of course all of the men were aware
That the lass had drunk more than her share,
But the girl had no shame,
Just a tart and fair game:
She was up for whatever, they’d swear!
Take the outfit she’d chosen to wear:
Low-cut blouse and a skirt up to there!
She undressed on the spot
Showed them all that she’d got:
A nice arse and my God, what a pair!
They yahooed when she stood there, all bare,
In the public bar’s fluorescent glare…
As she pouted and posed,
With her pink bits exposed,
All the lads had a jolly good stare!
They yelled “Go!” and one smacked her derriere.
She ran out of the pub like a hare,
Then the men took off too,
With great hullabaloo:
Jolly sport, as the Brits say, or rare!
Well, of course, the girl hadn’t a prayer.
A man shouted “Let’s give her a scare!”
She was caught, squeezed and groped,
Victors’ spoils they hoped.
No, in love and war, all isn’t fair!
A taste of honey
She was young, she was drunk and a honey,
Thought getting her tits out was funny!
The joke went too far:
She passed out in the bar,
And woke up, nude and screwed, in the dunny.