Caught by cannibals, stuffed in a pot!
Beating drums! God! This water’s damn hot!
Trussed up, totally nude!
Poked and pricked while she’s stewed!
Is that Tarzan chap coming or not?
Not your average Hollywood ending
Naked, tied to a log, the big blade
Roaring closer! [Zoom in: wide eyes]. [Fade].
[Woodchips] [Circular saw].
She screams! [Blood spatter] [Gore].
Next week: Saved! Hero roots her. Fair trade.
Blood on the tracks
Naked, tied to the railway track
Crazy, weird, sick male pay-back!
The trains coming! Toot ! Toot!
Dead, for lack of a root!
No! The hero’s arrived! Bam! Pow! Whack!
GST
“Have a drink! Don’t be nervous, relax!
It’s OK, you can perv to the max!
That’s what titties are for! …
Fucking’s two hundred more,
Plus, of course, goods and services tax.”
Gentleman Jack
Quite the dandy, effete, champagne sipper,
By night, he became Jack the Ripper;
Gas-light, a dark street,
The first girl that he’d meet
Ravished, stabbed, slit and splayed like a kipper.
An enterprising lad
Private parts not yet fully revealed,
Convinced, though, she’d pretty soon yield,
Right hand up her skirt,
His left under her shirt,
He pressed on… “Oooh! You’re naughty!” she squealed.
3D fantasy
The poor chap had been born quite myopic;
Girls’ tits were his favourite topic,
(Or pussies or arses),
And now he’s got glasses,
His perving is stereoscopic!
Immoral earnings
Discount vouchers, new logo, good branding;
The whorehouse’s trade was expanding!
Men quite well-to-do
Fucked a hooker or two,
Certain wowsers round town notwithstanding.
Highland fling
Scottish ways, to some folk, may seem foreign;
A Scottish lass, say, for a florin,
If asked the right way,
Wouldn’t likely say nae
To a taste of what’s under the sporran!
The honey pot
Said his father, “A word of advice;
Tits and pussies and bums may entice,
Which is all very well,
But the thing, truth to tell,
Is a chap’s fucking comes at a price!”