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Pete's Limericks

World's largest collection of original limericks

Pete's Limericks

Category: PG

Parental guidance recommended

Hippy chick

She’d forsaken bras, panties and lippy,
Smoked dope and tripped out, gone all hippy.
Nice tits, see-through shirt,
Nipples hard… Did they hurt,
When they bounced, if the weather was nippy?

Author petePosted on June 5, 2014June 30, 2024Categories PGTags bra, dope, hard, hippy, limerick, nipples, panties, tits

A palette for the palate

Pussies taste and smell vaguely of yeast,
Which does not put one off in the least!
Sometimes mushrooms, maybe,
Or a hint of the sea;
Come what may, it’s a moveable feast!

Author petePosted on May 25, 2014March 26, 2020Categories PGTags cunnilingus, limerick, mushrooms, pussies, pussy, yeast

Putting on the Ritz

They’d had oysters and steak at the Ritz.
The wine sparkled; he said it had spritz!
She had too much to drink,
And soon (what do you think?)
She was naked, and doing the splits!

Author petePosted on May 25, 2014June 30, 2024Categories PGTags drunk, limerick, naked, oysters, seduction, splits

The romantic type

They went out in the bus, not a cab.
Later on, at his flat, (rather drab),
He put on the hard word,
(Always did, so she’d heard).
Fair enough, since he’d picked up the tab.

Author petePosted on April 20, 2014June 30, 2024Categories PGTags hard word, limerick, romance, seduction

Getting it off her chest

When he buried his face in her chest,
Tweaked her nipple or fondled a breast,
She’d just sigh, roll her eyes,
Say “What gives with you guys?
They’re just tits! God, you make me depressed!”

Author petePosted on April 20, 2014June 30, 2024Categories PGTags breast, chest, fondle, limerick, nipple, tits

Buttery

Jiggs, the butler went white as a ghost!
Butter dripped off m’lady’s hot toast
And bespattered her breast,
(She was carelessly dressed),
Which was bigger, (well, both were) than most!

Author petePosted on April 17, 2014June 30, 2024Categories PGTags big breasts, breast, butler, butter, limerick

Damp squib

Though in fact quite a sexual squib,
And a virgin, she’d told him a fib;
“I’m a trollop!” she’d said.
Naked now, in his bed,
What to do? She’d just have to ad-lib!

Author petePosted on March 29, 2014June 29, 2024Categories PGTags limerick, naked, squib, trollop, virgin

Tantric sex

He admired her chakra, her aura;
They undressed, communed with the flora,
Made love in a field;
Her rash has now healed,
Her yoni, though’s, still getting sorer.

Author petePosted on March 24, 2014June 29, 2024Categories PGTags aura, chakra, limerick, made love, mysticism, yoni

Hide and seek

Underneath the oak tree they embraced,
His arm curved round her waspish young waist.
They made love, out of view
Of her chaperone who
Had been lost, (well, just briefly misplaced.)

Author petePosted on March 24, 2014June 29, 2024Categories PGTags chaperone, embrace, hide and seek, limerick, made love, waist

Post-diluvian pragmatism

“Well, it’s just been that way since the ark,”
He said pensively. Puzzling remark.
“Boy and girl, two by two;
The main thing is the screw.”
It rang true, though, she thought, although stark.

Author petePosted on March 16, 2014June 30, 2024Categories PGTags ark, creationism, limerick, religion, screw

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