After one or two glasses of booze,
Miss Virginia’s loins start to ooze:
She proclaims she wants cock
And as hard as a rock,
And she doesn’t mind very much whose!
Category: AO
Adults only
Enid
The improbably proper Miss Blyton
Was easy to shock and to frighten:
She dined with the vicar,
She never drank liquor
And never made love with the light on.
Trom-bone
In the midst of the trickiest bit
Came a shriek from the orchestra pit,
Which was closely pursued
By a cry of “Damn rude!
Keep your trombone away from my tit!”
Moonlight serenade
I’ve a neighbour who plays the bassoon,
Every night by the light of the moon.
She stands out on her lawn,
Dressed the way she was born:
She looks nice, but she plays out of tune.
The grass
A young lady from Badgery Creek
Stepped outside late one night, for a leak.
When she squatted, the grass
Sort of tickled her arse,
So she did it each night for a week!
User friendly
Given two girls, between whom to choose,
Pick the slut; she has nothing to lose.
She’ll do things nice girls don’t,
There are few things she won’t.
Sluts are nice, and so easy to use!
Getting to the point
Said my dad, “Lad, seduction’s an art:
There are three ways to win a girl’s heart.
You can say it with flowers,
Or verse, which takes hours,
Or just say “Lie down, legs apart!”
Well, well
There’s a naughty young girl called Adelle,
Who does things about which she can’t tell,
But the scandal is not
What she does in the cot,
But the fact that she does it so well!
Give thanks
That depressing old fart, Francis Xavier
Made up this code of behaviour:
Self mortification,
And no masturbation.
For wet dreams, give thanks to your saviour.
The horses of the apocalyse
Have mercy, dear God, on this sinner,
(Albeit, Lord, just a beginner!)
Look down with your grace:
Bless this horse with a place,
And if possible make it a winner.