I once met this thin jock and his moll
And I asked if they played rock and roll.
He said, squeezing her tit,
“Well, we listen a bit,
But we mostly just play cock and hole!”
Month: March 2011
Her bosom
Her soft bosom was warm and commodious,
Farts even sweet and melodious:
Lie in her arms
And all other girls’ charms
Became dull… but comparison’s odious.
Evolution of sex
Human women’s soft rumps have no tails;
Their twitching, though, still attracts males.
Their cunts smell of musk,
And, like any mollusc,
They leave silvery, slippery trails.
Never the bride
She held hordes of admirers in thrall,
So damn many she couldn’t recall:
Since she couldn’t decide
To which one she’d be bride,
She said “Fuck it, I’ll just root ’em all!”
Prenuptial
Giving in to her earnest betrothed,
She lay down with him, flushed and unclothed,
But his fevered caress,
And the sweat and the mess,
Made her think sex a thing to be loathed.
Fair game
Being reckless and devil-may-care,
She accepted a mischievous dare,
Being all in good fun,
To strip naked and run,
Being chased by some chaps round the square.
Of course all of the men were aware
That the lass had drunk more than her share,
But the girl had no shame,
Just a tart and fair game:
She was up for whatever, they’d swear!
Take the outfit she’d chosen to wear:
Low-cut blouse and a skirt up to there!
She undressed on the spot
Showed them all that she’d got:
A nice arse and my God, what a pair!
They yahooed when she stood there, all bare,
In the public bar’s fluorescent glare…
As she pouted and posed,
With her pink bits exposed,
All the lads had a jolly good stare!
They yelled “Go!” and one smacked her derriere.
She ran out of the pub like a hare,
Then the men took off too,
With great hullabaloo:
Jolly sport, as the Brits say, or rare!
Well, of course, the girl hadn’t a prayer.
A man shouted “Let’s give her a scare!”
She was caught, squeezed and groped,
Victors’ spoils they hoped.
No, in love and war, all isn’t fair!
A taste of honey
She was young, she was drunk and a honey,
Thought getting her tits out was funny!
The joke went too far:
She passed out in the bar,
And woke up, nude and screwed, in the dunny.
The company she keeps
At black masses, young witches consort
With the Devil and lewdly cavort.
They swallow the semens
Of beasts and of demons,
And burn at the stake, if they’re caught.
Old time religion
The old bishops of Rome once exhorted
That heretics had to be slaughtered,
Flayed, burnt at the stake,
(Though sometimes by mistake),
Jews and Protestants hung, drawn and quartered.