He said “Baby, I don’t like to brag,
But I’m told I’m a bloody good shag…
If you wanna find out…
You know… gimme a shout…
Or miss out, which would be, like, a drag!”
Tag: shag
Bad joke
She thought “This is a bit of a drag!”
Yes, she’d gone out to look for a shag,
And went home with this bloke,
Is he playing a joke?
I mean… what’s with the handcuffs and gag?
Compliant
Bit too fond of the booze and her fags,
But she don’t give a fuck who she shags!
Get her drunk… want some fun?
Try it on… good as done!
Well, unless, like, she’s on the damn rags.
Contingency planning
- Handcuffs
- Blindfold
- KY
- Condoms
- Gag
Well, a fellow’s hard up for a shag!
Might not need them, although,
If the damn girl says no,
A fuck’s still pretty much in the bag!
Between boyfriends
Between boyfriends, a bit of a drag,
With this guy she’s picked up, on a jag,
Some jock, just for the interim,
Not that much into him,
Someone to drink with and shag.
More than she can chew
“Are you certain all this is quite safe?”
She attempted to say, the poor waif,
Indistinct, through her gag.
“Can’t we just have a shag?
That damn pussy rope’s starting to chafe!”
Jailbait
“Well, a fuck’s pretty much in the bag,”
He presumed, then his plans hit a snag.
“I’ll be sixteen next week,”
She said, flashing a peek
Of her right boob. “Come on but, let’s shag!”
Quality of life
Just to have a bad heart was enough; it
Was worse being told he might snuff it
Through having a fag,
Or a drink, or a shag.
He thought “Well, if that’s life, you can stuff it!”
Relationship on the rocks
“Oh my God!” she said, (more like a screech),
“When I said to you, back on the beach,
That I felt, you dumb jock,
Like a shag on a rock,
It was only a figure of speech!”
The evening of the day
Though a bit geriatric, Mick Jagger
Still puts on the hip-thrust and swagger,
Attempting to show
That, just as long ago,
He’s a randy, inveterate shagger.