marriage – Pete's Limericks

Ho hum

Married, kids… sex is kinda ho-hum…
Like her pussy’s somehow just gone numb…
Hubby can’t go without it,
Says “Babe, how about it?”
She sighs, “Maybe try up my bum.”

Institutionalised

I think marriage a fine institution,
And often the only solution.
For girls, what remains
If they lack looks or brains,
Is the convent, or else prostitution!

Discontent

Over years she’d come to accept
That her husband was fucking inept…
Well a woman has needs,
Which a proper man heeds…
To be well fucked and suitably kept.

For better or worse

How on earth was she somehow betrothed
To this man, whom she heartily loathed!
Bad as that, though, may be,
How much worse still to see
His smug smirk and his body unclothed!

Wedded bliss

When she’d fucked, once, she’d pleaded for more..
But now, married, it’s kind of a bore…
Wham, bam, always the same,
It just seems such a shame…
Better, frankly, to be a damn whore!

Aside

His best man’s pretty hot, thought the bride…
Should she fuck him? Quick, bloody decide!
Would tonight be too soon…
(It’s still pre-honeymoon…)
To be having a bit on the side?

Reality sets in

When she married him, only nineteen,
It was blissful, you know what I mean?
Parties, laughs, sex all night…
Now it’s cook, clean, fuck, fight…
And the bills… and the baby to wean.

Goods and chattels

Wife and mother, a damn uphill battle!
She’s treated like goods or a chattel!
Fucked, beaten and cursed,
Or ignored, which was worst…
She’d much rather be one of his cattle!

Moving on

She moved on from affair to affair…
It would seem that she hadn’t a care!
Broken heart? Marriage wrecked?
One was led to suspect,
If at all she was barely aware!