limerick – Page 60 – Pete's Limericks

Pussy (adj)

Other people’s small parts may drip pus,
With all sorts of concomitant fuss:
It’s a nuisance, of course,
Which provokes great remorse
In those poor folk concerned, (never us!)

Inept

If, persisting, you only produce,
Cries of “Sir, you’re a pain, and obtuse!”
Then you’d better accept
That you’re less than adept,
And make do with the old self-abuse.

Cheeky little thing

A daring young girl, for a prank,
Bought a swimsuit, obscene, to be frank.
It was hard to ignore it
The first time she wore it,
Impossible after it shrank!

All cats are grey in the dark

A young fellow from smoggy Port Kembla
Was having a late-night knee-trembler…
But somehow or other,
He fucked the girl’s mother,
Whose daughter did, granted, resemble her.

Hi Jean

Should you contemplate something obscene,
With a raunchy young lady called Jean,
Then at least wash your hands
After fondling her glands;
Well, who knows where the trollop has been?

News from the front

An unfortunate girl called Maria
Developed the dread gonorrhoea:
Her husband took fright
When she told him her plight,
And discreetly advanced to the rear.

Greased lightning

A young lady I know is quite manic,
Her manner of fucking galvanic:
She starts at a pace,
Like it’s some sort of race,
And from then on, just hang and don’t panic!

Double trouble

There was a young lady called Lynne,
Who had an identical twin:
Although both liked to screw,
A chap never knew who
He was fucking until he got in!

Daredevil

Though the sign at the entrance did warn her;
“Beware! Don’t have sex in the sauna!”
She did for a dare,
Being devil-may-care,
With the chap who’s her principal mourner!