It’s not done for a lady to squat
And display everything that she’s got:
If her cunt caught the eye
Of a chap passing by,
She’d be fucked, with just cause, on the spot!
Tag: limerick
Rising damp
Should you slip into some lady’s slot,
You might find it delightfully hot,
But take care when you’re there:
It’s a humid affair,
And things left there too long tend to rot!
Sunny side up
She stretched out with her clothes by her side,
On a beach where she couldn’t be spied,
But she woke up to find
She was sunburned behind,
And her things washed away by the tide!
Hyphenated
He was crude, he blasphemed; she was shocked,
Yet, somehow, in a trice, was un-frocked,
And un-bra-ed and un-knickered,
Sweet-talked, and hard liquored,
Deflowered, and gone off half-cocked!
Mastication
It adds zest, one must say, to one’s screws,
To sustain the odd bite, scratch or bruise.
If she licks, sucks and bites,
These are extra delights,
But it isn’t much fun if she chews.
Opening sally
One day normally proper Miss Sally
With someone less proper did dally:
One glass of champagne,
Reserve went down the drain,
As her innocent legs turned to jelly!
Slip-sliding away
Kristy Brodie was well-nigh a saint,
A good catholic girl, free from taint,
Till the good life she tasted,
Declared her life wasted:
What trace of her virtue’s left’s faint!
Honest mistake
What I thought the young lady had said
Was she wanted to take me to bed,
But the way that she screamed
When I fucked her , it seemed
That I must have been somehow misled!
How to sit a horse
If you go out, my daughter, to ride,
Then sit side-saddle, never astride,
Or else, when you are mounted,
You might be discounted,
As being too loose and too wide!
The benefit of hindsight
Said Miss Wrigley, “I might have refused,
Had I known I’d be sorely abused:
You have plied with such strength
Your inordinate length
That my fanny is swollen and bruised!”