That old debonair bastard, Clark Gable,
Without pause or tiring, was able
To fuck first young starlets,
Then stray girls and harlots:
A stud indeed! More like a stable!
Tag: limerick
Anais Nin
The insatiable Anais Nin
Had a great predilection to sin:
To quote Henry Miller,
(Who didn’t fulfill her),
Anais was nice to be in.
Though Anais would climax and swoon,
Henry Miller, she wrote, came too soon.
When he ran out of puff,
She’d still not had enough,
So she also seduced his wife, June.
It was such fun to be avant-garde;
Life was one long, risqué masquerade:
Having orgies with friends,
Any means to all ends,
Reading books by the Marquis de Sade.
Since she frankly described in her journal
Her sexual exploits nocturnal,
We know about Nin…
From her smooth, silky skin
To her slippery organs internal.
In Anais’s book, “Little Birds”,
Which is littered with four-letter words,
She wrote of erotica,
Sex and exotica,
Pretty much roughly in thirds.
Madame Nin’s work was not pornographic;
It dealt, though, with sex, straight and sapphic:
In “Delta of Venus”,
The cunt and the penis
Commingle in sociable traffic.
Back in Paris, between the World Wars,
Behind veils, or curtains of gauze,
Naked, prone or supine,
Blurred and thin was the line
Between rich, refined ladies and whores.
An udder story
If you like your girls buxom and hairy,
That’s fine, but perhaps a bit scary.
If wanting to root
Girls with jugs and hirsute
You might fancy a job in a dairy.
Fatal attraction
Though the girl had a cunt like a chasm,
When fucked, and she came to orgasm,
The rash fellow who
Had embarked on a screw
Would be squashed, balls and all, by the spasm.
White lies
As he nudged up towards where her hole lay,
He was heard, in a voice to cajole, say
“I love you, I swear,
And your hymen won’t tear,
If I don’t push my prick in the whole way!”
Medusa
Her loins gripped, like the coils of Medusa,
The prick of her would-be seducer,
Who cried, “I shan’t hurt you!
I’ll honour your virtue…
If you could just make your thighs looser!
Bush ballad
She was blessed with a lush, bouncy bush,
Through which, gosh, it was lovely to push!
But a faulty hair-dryer,
One night, caused a fire:
Sniff. What’s that? Whizz! Crackle! Bang! Whoosh!
Different strokes
Censorship is all mirrors and smoke,
Censors men wearing decency’s cloak,
Who watch porn all day long,
Call it evil and wrong,
But meanwhile, can’t resist a nice stroke.
Booze and romance
She was dressed in a way to provoke,
To turn on any red-blooded bloke,
Who perceived a fair chance,
After booze and romance,
She might just let him give her a poke.
Unbearable lightness
She wore jeans of such indecent tightness,
And thinness and colour and lightness,
That when they got wet,
From the rain, or her sweat,
A man’s thoughts deviated from rightness.