Call me cynical, dull doubting Thomas,
But never believe a girl’s promise
Of faithfulness, love;
Sex and stealth, hand in glove!
While they fuck us they keep themselves from us!
Tag: limerick
The apprentice
Arms and legs round him gripped like a boa!
She stopped him mid-fuck, shouting “Whoa!
Go back to the start;
When we get to this part,
Next time harder! And deeper! And slower!”
The secret life of religious fundamentalists
She made love with a strange sort of zeal,
A passion she couldn’t conceal.
It seemed, although odd,
She’d forget about God,
And get off doing something more real!
Prostituting her art
Posing naked for artists might fetch
A few bucks, cold and bored, while they sketch.
But she thought, What the hell?
Why not fuck them as well,
For a little bit extra? Poor wretch!
Over it
Ruined woman. The usual tale,
Of love misplaced, sex and betrayal.
She made up her mind
That she’d go out and find
A new lover, but maybe not male.
Funny business
Sex was quite fun, according to rumour.
Her girlfriend, an avid consumer,
Said try it with toys,
And then move on to boys,
Which quite tickled her sick sense of humour!
A knotty problem
Having tried it, though not much enthused,
Bondage, whips, she was rather confused.
Would she do it again?
She came hard, true, but then,
Was it love, or just being abused?
The truth hurts
So, they’re fucking. It starts to get rough.
She screams “”Punish me!” Just off the cuff.
“I’m a slut! I’m a whore!
Fuck me! Slap me some more!
Sort of half true, but mostly all bluff.
Love’s labours lost
To the best of her youthful ability,
Blessed with a certain agility,
Willing enough,
Till she ran out of puff…
He still limp! Goddamn shame! Such futility!
Whore-ticulture
Quite the lady, she said, self-assured,
“The buggery, yes, I endured,
But go back in front?
Lady garden or cunt,
I don’t want the thing bloody manured!”