limerick – Page 278 – Pete's Limericks

The common touch

“God!” she thought. “E’er so low one has stooped!
Being fucked like a whore! Rather pooped.”
It quite beggared belief!
What a blessed relief,
When he came, and his huge pizzle drooped!

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Refined tastes

She writhed, naked, and panted and sweated;
His wants and desires, unfettered,
Played out on her parts.
She succumbed to his arts,
His strange appetites hardly yet whetted!

The dandy

Quite the man about town was young Harold,
Smart-talking and gaudy-apparelled.
“I give you her hand,”
Said her Dad, gun in hand,
“And it ain’t just your name’s double-barrelled!”

Dining out

“Ya habibi”, he said. “Yes, I cheat,
But it’s not that your body’s not sweet!
Though it brings me delight,
It’s the same dish each night,
And, sometimes, a man craves for fresh meat!”

When in Rome, do as the Romans do

Though her young heart would always be Zion’s,
A slave now, in Rome, clapped in irons,
Raped! Buggered, what’s more!
Might as well be a whore,
She despaired, as be fed to the lions!

Pleasure cruise

“What’s one more?” she said, pussy awash.
“Come, squeeze in. It’s a bit of a squash!
This chap’s just about done.
Sure, join in the fun!”
She exclaimed, with a giggle. Slosh! Slosh!

The silver lining

Men are bastards, she’d learned, to her cost.
Having been seduced, then double-crossed.
Then she found out men paid,
Though, to get themselves laid,
Pretty well, too, so all was not lost.

Nipped in the bud

Girls, come puberty, soon as they bloom,
Await mostly the same pleasant doom;
To be noticed by men,
And desired, and then
Be deflowered; who knows, though, by whom?