limerick – Page 216 – Pete's Limericks

A formidable woman

She’s a bit of a drunk, and a trollop.
Her right fist, if irked, packs a wallop!
She gives awesome head…
When you get her in bed,
You’ll be coming, cross-eyed, by the dollop!

On a hiding to nothing

“See her, naked! Vile, blasphemous bitch!”
Roared the priest, whip hand starting to twitch.
“Incubus, or foul slut…”
(The whip’s lash stung and cut…”
Witch or harlot, it matters not which!”

Touchée

She’d run off with her fencing instructor,
(In fact, just a ruse, to abduct her!)
So dashing, so handsome!
To hold her for ransom!
She’d thought they’d go home when he’d fucked her

What the Dickens?

“Goodness me! You are bold, Mr Dickens!”
His maid exclaims, flushed. Her pulse quickens…
“Bend over, my dear”,
He says, drawing near,
Cock hard in his hand… The plot thickens!

Slow boil

As he tickled her clit with a feather,
Restrained, hood and corset of leather,
She drooled and she moaned,
Release too long postponed…
She’d about reached the end of her tether!

Lady luck

From the stain on the front of his pants,
One imagined some sordid romance,
A nice, quick, messy fuck,
But no… sheer bad luck.
Unexpected, alas. Come-by-chance.

Caught napping

She’d just thought to herself how much fun it
Would be, baring pussy, to sun it.
She’d dropped off to sleep,
All her clothes in a heap…
And was fucked by somebody! Whodunnit?

Multi-tasking

Girls these days can be had for the asking,
Their inner sluts, ripe for unmasking!
Blow job? Up the arse?
Fuck the whole goddam class?
Not a problem. It’s just multi-tasking.

Prioritisation

Her damn pussy’s as tight as a clam!
Being horny, of course, as I am,
The priority is,
Fill her up with hot jizz,
And then pull it out, wipe it and scram!