buggery – Pete's Limericks

Crumbs

Since their first day at school girlhood chums…
He said “Bend over girls.” She thought “Crumbs!
Gosh, what horrible luck…
Not a plain simple fuck…
Not the way that he’s fondling our bums!”

Shit happens

Did he not think it felt a bit tight…
That, somehow, something wasn’t quite right?
Was it just a mistake,
Being not quite awake?
Or he buggered her out of plain spite!

Unchivalrous

When he raped her, she tried to be brave,
But, of course, ne’er forgot, nor forgave,
(Although whom could she tell)…
And then buggered, as well!
Damn Sir Francis, the dastardly knave!

Merrie England

Life at court involved plots and skulduggery,
Scandals and sex, hugger-muggery,
Graces and airs
And clandestine affairs,
Not to mention a lot of plain buggery.

Whore-ticulture

Quite the lady, she said, self-assured,
“The buggery, yes, I endured,
But go back in front?
Lady garden or cunt,
I don’t want the thing bloody manured!”

TKO

Firm of flesh, strong of will, round of vowel;
No man’s cock would enter her bowel!
She argued at length,
Fought with all of her strength,
But, alas, had to throw in the towel.

The loophole

Christian women, God’s virgins, rejoice!
For small blessings, give thanks, raise your voice!
No, of course you can’t screw
As unsaved women do…
There’s still buggery though… It’s your choice!

Misgivings

She was in the end, just a bit, peeved,
Convinced, quietly, she’d been deceived.
He’d said women of class
Loved a cock up their arse;
She was hurt, sore, and somewhat aggrieved.