‘Twas a straightforward fuck, and quite tame,
His intention was never to maim,
But his prick was so long,
And his thrust was so strong,
Her poor fanny was never the same!
Howdy-do
A disgusted young lady called Sue
Said “Well, this is a fine howdy-do!
Seven months up the spout,
To some crude, drunken lout,
And I honestly can’t recall who!”
Ripper
At the end of her sensuous strip,
She does cartwheels and then a back-flip,
Coming down in the splits,
Touching ground with her tits,
It’s a wonder her cunt doesn’t rip!
Bring back fly buttons
Miss La Touche, that most infamous stripper
Had stripped to the buff, bar one slipper,
When, out of the gloom,
Screamed a fellow of whom
Certain parts had got caught in his zipper!
Johnny-on-the-spot
It’s not done for a lady to squat
And display everything that she’s got:
If her cunt caught the eye
Of a chap passing by,
She’d be fucked, with just cause, on the spot!
Rising damp
Should you slip into some lady’s slot,
You might find it delightfully hot,
But take care when you’re there:
It’s a humid affair,
And things left there too long tend to rot!
Sunny side up
She stretched out with her clothes by her side,
On a beach where she couldn’t be spied,
But she woke up to find
She was sunburned behind,
And her things washed away by the tide!
Hyphenated
He was crude, he blasphemed; she was shocked,
Yet, somehow, in a trice, was un-frocked,
And un-bra-ed and un-knickered,
Sweet-talked, and hard liquored,
Deflowered, and gone off half-cocked!
Mastication
It adds zest, one must say, to one’s screws,
To sustain the odd bite, scratch or bruise.
If she licks, sucks and bites,
These are extra delights,
But it isn’t much fun if she chews.
Opening sally
One day normally proper Miss Sally
With someone less proper did dally:
One glass of champagne,
Reserve went down the drain,
As her innocent legs turned to jelly!