Women’s breasts are assessed by quotation
Of bra size, that cryptic notation,
Say 34B,
38 double-D;
Note: the latter give better flotation.
Category: PG
Parental guidance recommended
Southern comfort
“Y’all, whenever you’re down this-a-way,
With some money to just piss away,
Look me up, now!” she drawled,
From the couch where she sprawled,
Undergarments still in disarray.
Jezebel
By the window, dressed, waiting alone;
Death would come soon, by sword or by stone,
Pretty Jezebel knew.
“Pagan slut!” yelled Jehu,
Now you’re dogs-meat, bitch! Jump, or be thrown!”
Bathsheba
Bold Bathsheba was flaunting her charms,
Bathing naked, out under the palms,
Where King David could see;
He thought “She’ll do for me!”
You can read what then happened in Psalms.*
* (I know, 2 Samuel 11:3, but that doesn’t fit the rhyme)
The end justifies the means
Quite the prettiest whore on the street;
She did well, on her regular beat.
Men would wink, she’d nod yes,
And she’d hitch up her dress;
An age-old way of making ends meet.
Adaptability
At first frightened, reluctant and flustered,
The look of it left her disgusted!
Remarkably, though,
She enjoyed it, then, so,
That she found that she quickly adjusted.
Eine kleine Nachtmusik
She intuitively, somehow, knew
She’d had sex in her sleep, although who
It could be came and went…
What the subterfuge meant,
She knew not… though the suspects were few.
Aural sex
An exemplar of feminine flora,
She wore a libidinous aura;
Men drawn to her knew
What a man had to do,
Or be, ever thereafter, the poorer!
Parlour games
In the dark, from somewhere on the couch,
A sweet, girlish, young voice exclaimed “Ouch!”
Had she been overpowered?
Perhaps been deflowered?
Some carnal adventure, I’ll vouch!
Make-believe
Although impotent he was resourceful,
At times, perhaps rather too forceful,
Enjoying his toys,
(Boys will always be boys);
He was always, though, later, remorseful.