Category: AO

Adults only

Maiden

A young lad and his lass, down in Dover,
Were having a romp in the clover:
He said “Let’s play cricket!”
She said “You can stick it!”
He did, and he bowled said young bold maiden over!

Cad

She said “Sir, you can never deny
That you raped me!” I said, “No, not I.”
She said, “Sir, you’re a cad!”
I said, “Madam, not bad!
I’m a cad, though not he who had thee, but nice try!”

Gilding the lily

When young women go out on a date,
It’s the primeval search for a mate,
So they groom and they dress
To entice and impress,
And try not to leave too much to fate.

Once a girl would have been chaperoned:
Private meetings were never condoned.
Well, back then that was great,
But these days kids don’t wait,
They hook up and get drunk or get stoned.

Now a girl does herself up as bait,
Almost serves herself up on a plate,
And behaviour’s routine,
Once thought lewd and obscene
Self respect and regrets come too late!

Not content with her natural state,
And obsessed with her body and weight,
A young girl now invests
In new super-size breasts,
Which go hard or cock-eyed, or deflate.

You could see it as funny or sad.
Modern girls are all stupid or mad.
They just can’t get it straight:
Why such distrust and hate
Of the natural beauty they had?

Cave man

When a man was a man, with a club,
He could wait for a mate in the scrub:
Any girl of the species,
Fur, feathers and faeces,
Was his, and no risk of a snub.