He was body guard, butler and chauffeur,
Factotum and minder, her go-fer.
He swept, cooked her food,
When she felt in the mood,
Also gave a fair fuck on the sofa.
Author: pete
Impatience
She’d discreetly inserted her diaphragm.
“Maybe just lift your leg higher, Ma’am?”
God! What she’d paid
To this fool to get laid!
Must she draw him a fucking big diagram?
Not to be too fastidious
By unscrupulous means and invidious,
Dirty tricks, nasty, insidious,
Brought to his bed…
The fuck, later she said,
Was disgustingly horrid, quite hideous!
In praise of the juniper berry
To make his seduction plan viable,
Gin would be pretty reliable;
Blotto enough,
She might not give a stuff…
Or at least become frisky and pliable.
Contingency planning
- Handcuffs
- Blindfold
- KY
- Condoms
- Gag
Well, a fellow’s hard up for a shag!
Might not need them, although,
If the damn girl says no,
A fuck’s still pretty much in the bag!
Lonesome cowboy
He approached her, said “Howdy there, ma’am!
I need cash, but this ain’t no damn scam;
Just, I’m handsome and young,
And I’m pretty well-hung.
If you want a good root, here I am!”
Social intercourse
Though they hadn’t been introduced formally,
Though she would never have normally
Rooted the man,
Still it somehow began,
And continued, discreetly, if stormily!
Never to be repeated offer
Husky-voiced, dusky-skinned, musky-scented;
Big-bosomed, all girl, not augmented;
And hymen intact!
(Well, in actual fact,
Though not broken, extensively dented.)
Gigolo
Just a gigolo, handsome, slim-hipped,
Charming, perfumed, well-dressed, Jagger-lipped.
Women paid him for sex,
(Cash, no cards and no cheques),
For which task he was damn well equipped!
The cad
The term cad would be fairly applicable.
God! The damn man was despicable!
Rude, selfish beast!
Was a woman, at least,
If not fuckable, possibly lickable?