The spewing of blood, haematemesis,
Has long been the scourge and the nemesis
Of nervous dyspeptics
Despite certain sceptics,
And patrons of pubs (licenced premises.)
Author: admin
Obstetrics and gynaecology
Oh the joys of the old obs and gynae!
The lovely introitus vaginae,
The labia minor,
That frame the vagina,
The whole thing, rosaceous and shiny!
Ocular foreign bodies
If perchance you are caught in a gust
And your eye is insulted by dust,
Although God knows it’s tryin’
Thank God it ain’t iron,
Which tends to get in there and rust.
Fundoscopy
The world of the ocular fundus
Is eighth of the natural wonders;
It’s only plain prudence
For medical students
To know of things in there that stunned us.
Though your sightseeing tour be brisk,
Skirt the edges, it’s well worth the risk;
See the much-discussed macula,
Though not spectacular;
Certainly, don’t miss the disc!
Stool examination
If you’re one of those misguided fools
With a perverse obsession with stools,
If you must prod and sniff,
Then it’s preferable if
You at least wait until the stuff cools.
Atrial fibrillation
If one’s heart’s prone to fast fibrillation,
Erotic or lewd titillation
Is out of the question,
As well as congestion
Of organs, by hand or fellation.
Subclavian steal syndrome
I was just reaching out for a feel,
To see if her bosom was real;
I’d just gotten hold,
When I fainted, out cold!
I’d been struck by subclavian steal.
Carnification
On percussion, a man from Estonia
Was found to sound stonier and stonier;
First an innocent shiver,
Then lungs turned to liver,
They diagnosed lobar pneumonia.
Diverticula
Given time we all get diverticula,
In lower large bowel, in particular.
They’re also in bladder,
In men who once had a
Large prostate. They’re never testicular.
Hernia
It seems to me plainly deducible,
One’s hernia may be reducible,
Yet nevertheless
Make one’s sex life a mess;
It does make one so much less seducible.