Lost on him

Pulled her panties up, snapped the elastic…
“Wow! Thanks!” she said. “Fuckin’ fantastic!”
He grinned and said “Right!
Up the arse! Nice and tight!”
“Fuck!” she said. I was bein’ sarcastic!”

Epiphany

She thought “Yep, I’m beyond overweight…
Floppy tits, the big belly… not great!
All this fat! To be blunt,
Hard to find my damn cunt!
Little wonder I can’t get a date!”