On the land

When you’re living outback, on a station
The boredom and great isolation
Cause men to commit
And nice girls to submit
To lewd acts, in bemused resignation.

You grow tired of dull masturbation,
And even of plain copulation.
Then one day you say
“Let’s try some other way,
For fuck’s sake, for some damned variation!

It’s a thing that defies explanation:
Though subject to long rumination,
This curious lot,
(Are they in-bred or what?)
Aren’t content with good old fornication!

They might need more sex education.
God knows, they could try sublimation:
There’s much more to do
Than play sex games and screw.
They must have an unhealthy fixation!

But enough of such insinuation,
Besmirching their good reputation
Get down to the facts
Of these unseemly acts
And consider the prime motivation.

Out there, sex is the sole recreation:
It’s not just for blind procreation
And needless to say
That there’s more than one way
To achieve love’s sublime consummation.

City folk lack an imagination
Condemning experimentation.
Everyone likes a change
And some acts may seem strange,
But it’s been going on since creation!

So instead of such stern indignation,
Why not some discreet admiration
For clever folk who,
Seek to try something new
In a spirit of bold innovation.

I would call them, without reservation,
The bloody back-bone of the nation.
They like their sex rough?
Country people are tough:
When it hurts, it improves the sensation!

If their sexual gratification
Requires some mild flagellation,
With boots, whips and spurs,
It’s for his fun and hers,
Just consensual sex exploitation.

If the girl, at the bloke’s instigation,
Gets tied up for his titillation,
If she doesn’t mind,
And it helps them unwind
It’s of course a win-win situation!

Say the bloke needs the girl’s subjugation,
To manage an ejaculation
She’s awfully brave
To become his sex-slave
For the bitter-sweet game’s short duration.

And of course, at their next assignation
Like as not there will be a rotation:
The bloke on his knees,
While she does a strip-tease
And he does things for her stimulation.

It’s a matter of self-preservation
Sometimes to screw with a relation;
Just letting off steam,
And it beats a wet dream
If you suffer from sex deprivation.

Give some thought to all this information
When planning your next long vacation:
Perhaps a farm-stay
Where a roll in the hay
Puts an end to some girl’s desperation.

City girls, please, no shy hesitation:
Your bodies await adoration
By young jackaroos.
What’s a girl got to lose?
For a life of rich fantasisation!

No bull

An old weather-worn Narrabri ringer,
Renowned as a big bull-shit slinger,
To Nellie’s surprise
Slipped between her fat thighs,
What he’d promised: a fucking hum-dinger!

Country sheilas

Country women work hard and don’t nag.
They enjoy a cold beer and a fag,
Don’t sit round on their bums,
Cook and clean like their mums,
And they like a nice roll in the swag.

When a country girl’s tits start to sag,
She’s still good for a grope and a shag.
She still fancies her figure.
Her arse may be bigger,
That’s only more tail to wag!

Though her bloke’s a bit rough and a dag,
Put him down and you wave a red rag.
You’ll be in for a blue:
He’s her number-one screw.
And for God’s sake, don’t call her a slag!

Gert

There’s a girl in the village called Gert,
Who goes knickerless under her skirt:
She’ll be yours for the night
If you play your cards right,
But you have to pull out when you squirt.