Oh Christmas tree

Bloody Christmas Eve night, of all nights!
Naked, tied up with damn twinkling lights!
Frosted hair, frosted thatch,
Candy cane up her snatch…
Silly season has just reached new heights!

How, she still doesn’t quite understand,
Does she find herself candles in hand,
Bloody star on her head,
Tinsel, silver, green, red…
And her feet in a bucket of sand?

“Want to do something special?” he’d said.
She’d said “Sure.” But look where it’s led!
Now he’s pulled out the stick,
And his candy-striped dick’s
Being pushed up her pussy instead!

Liquor’s quicker

She leaned close, lovely tits falling out,
Bleary-eyed, she slurred “C’mon, your shout!”
(Nudge, nudge, wink, pregnant pause),
“One more drink, and I’m yours!”
Sex and booze! That’s what life’s all about!