The young whore said, and couldn’t be blunter,
“I’d not call the arrogant cunt a
Big player. No way!
He’s a lousy damn lay,
Just another damn dumb fuckin’ punter!”
Month: May 2018
In flagrante delicto
Though he claimed to have been bloody slandered,
He’d gambled and boozed and philandered,
And worse, truth to tell,
Fucked young schoolgirls as well,
At which practice he’d been caught red-handed!
Truth in advertising
“Virgin. Eighteen. Great body. Superb!”
So it said in the newspaper blurb.
He drove by, as you do,
But the only thing new
Was a small-titted kid on the kerb.
Chivalry is dead
Bold Sir Percy, still flushed from the joust,
Became amorous, being well soused.
”It’s a very fine lance;
Put it back in your pants!”,
The outraged Lady Gwendoline roused.
His pound of flesh
In the end, he became quite irate.
“Since you’re charging me such a high rate”,
He roared. “ Bugger the licks,
And your clever damn tricks,
Get your cunt on my cock and gyrate!”
Double feature
“God,” he said. “ I just love fucking twins;
The same woman in two matching skins!
A man’s hard put to know
In which hole he should go,
Where one ends, and the other begins!
Behind the eight ball
Seemed whatever she did turned out crooked
Life pretty much had her damn snookered!
She’d waitressed, parked cars,
Picked up men in rough bars,
Then thought “Fuck it!”, and just straight-out hookered.
Understood
To think of the men she’s been under;
The bluster and storm, blood and thunder…
So fucking absurd!
That she lately preferred
A nice woman, well, small bloody wonder!
Liquid sequins
A third cousin, or somehow related,
She’d got drunk one night and fellated,
Had come on her dress,
(What an ungodly mess!)
His apology gruff and belated.
A girl has her limits
“I do hope that you don’t misconstrue
Me,” she said. “Though you’re quite a good screw,
Well, three times is enough!
We could do other stuff…
Maybe go to the pub for a brew?”