Getting laid; it’s just life, nothing mystical,
Most people do, it’s statistical.
How, where and when,
Once, or time and again,
Not fate either, it’s mostly logistical.
Month: November 2015
Breach of contract
Being tied up was fine, it would seem,
But the subsequent blood-curdling scream
And profanities meant
What was used, where it went,
Might have been just a little extreme!
Heraldic device
That her virtue be taken so cheaply,
His prick rampant, rising so steeply,
With one savage thrust,
In a wild fit of lust!
Betrayed trust! It affected her deeply.
Blissful ignorance
Though he did, one must say, in all fairness,
It seems, make the most of her bareness…
Commit an offence…
In the fellow’s defence…
He did do so without her awareness.
Freshness
Teenage girls seem to come with a use-by date,
Stamped on their arse, “Cherry lose-by date”.
Anxious to screw,
They don’t worry much who;
They want cock, be it how big or whose by fate!
Something fishy
So, the way that the cops heard him tell it, he
Swore he could, somehow, just smell it; he
Knew her own scent…
But that cummy smell meant
He should worry about her fidelity!
Amour of Venice
Big, black, powerful, jealous Othello,
Deceived by Iago… vile fellow!
Though poor Desdemona
Still gave him a boner…
He killed her! My God, man! Just mellow!
Terms of reference
Virgin? She? Could he be more exact?
Did he mean the straight sexual act?
She’d screwed anally, orally;
Could she still, morally,
Claim still to be, for a fact?
Splitting hairs
Though my client, Your Honour, admits
She wore dresses with rather high slits,
And tight shirts, and no bra,
Still her boss went too far,
When he called out “Garn! Show us your tits!”
Oral instruction
“Can you not find my damn clit or what?
Lick it! Tickle it! Rub! Spit! The lot!
We’ll get round to your fuck,
Just get down there and suck!
Yes! Oh God! Yes! That’s just hit the spot!”