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Pete's Limericks

World's largest collection of original limericks

Pete's Limericks

Month: October 2014

The doctrine of the Assumption

The assumption she’d always begun with
Was men were just there to have fun with;
To tease, have a fling,
Fuck, or keep on a string,
Then move on, when it’s over and done with!

Author petePosted on October 30, 2014July 1, 2024Categories AOTags fuck, have a fling, keep on a strting, limerick, tease

Girl Friday

“If you’re going to rape me, then do so!”
The stowaway girl told the crew, so
They did, night and day,
Then they cast her away!
A sad fate, but no Robinson Crusoe!

Author petePosted on October 30, 2014July 1, 2024Categories AOTags castaway, Girl Friday, limerick, no Robinson Crusoe, rape, stowaway

A soft touch

A slow hand, a smooth tongue, a soft touch;
Going down on her, foreplay and such;
Take your time! Not too fast!
When you fuck her at last,
She might protest a bit but not much!

Author petePosted on October 29, 2014July 1, 2024Categories AOTags consent, cunnilingus, foreplay, going down, limerick, slow hand, soft touch, tongue

The sacred and the profane

Though to root him had been just insanity,
She, like most frail humanity,
Gave in to sin,
And then, once it was in,
Moaned “Oh God! Fuck!” to add, too, profanity.

Author petePosted on October 29, 2014July 1, 2024Categories AOTags fuck, god, limerick, religion, sacred and profane, sin

Slips of the tongue

Caution, care to the winds long since flung,
She to small shreds of dignity clung;
Naked, racked by desire,
Her pussy on fire,
Soft nips, teasing slips of the tongue!

Author petePosted on October 29, 2014July 1, 2024Categories AOTags cunnilingus, desire, dignity, limerick, naked, pussy, slip of the tongue, throw caution to the wind

On the cards

Flowers, gifts, a guy does the hard yards,
A first kiss, and the girls drop their guards!
A sly squeeze of a breast;
If she doesn’t protest,
Well, of course, a fuck’s quite on the cards!

Author petePosted on October 29, 2014July 1, 2024Categories AOTags breast, consent, first kiss, fuck, limerick, on the cards, squeeze, the hard yards

A pleasure to do business

She looked cheap, and she was, tarted up;
Her john panting, a big-hearted pup!
He was short on allure,
Too fat, that’s for sure,
But nice to fuck, once started up!

Author petePosted on October 29, 2014July 1, 2024Categories AOTags cheap, fat, fuck, john, limerick, prostitute, prostitution, tarted up

The happy minstrel

Almost eighteen, she’d waited so long!
Not that wanting and waiting were wrong…
A moonlight serenade…
She was wooed, won and laid…
The poor girl could be had for a song

Author petePosted on October 28, 2014July 1, 2024Categories AOTags eighteen, had for a song, laid, limerick, minstrel, moonlight serenade, virgin, wooed

Heart-breaker

Handsome bastard, he had quite an aura;
He left girls both sadder and poorer.
Huge cock, ego to match;
A girl’s heart and her snatch,
If not broken, then battered and sorer!

Author petePosted on October 28, 2014July 1, 2024Categories AOTags aura, bastard, big cock, big penis, broken heart, cock, heart breaker, limerick, snatch

Buying hay for another man’s horse

Pussy-whipped or a saint? Man or mouse?
Or enlightened, non-bitter ex-spouse?
While he paid all the bills,
Found religion, took pills,
His ex-wife fucked new men in his house!

Author petePosted on October 27, 2014July 1, 2024Categories AOTags divorce, ex-wife, fucked, limerick, man or mouse, pussy, pussy whipped, religion

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