A nice girl he’d just met at the pub,
In the midst of the rowdy hubbub,
Slyly unzipped his fly,
Looked him straight in the eye,
And quite publicly gave him a rub!
Month: October 2011
Stealth
He approached from behind and below;
Careful movements, deliciously slow.
She continued to snore;
Just a few inches more…
Was she sleeping in fact? Did she know?
Inner strength
Even in, it continued to grow!
How much further inside could it go?
Maybe up to her liver?
The thought made her shiver!
It felt fucking wonderful, though!
Life's too short
An old girlfriend rang, wanting to know
If he’d meet her for drinks, and although
He might not tell his wife,
There are some things in life
To which few men would ever say no!
In a minute there is time
In a trice she’d been rudely up-ended,
She knew what the villain intended!
She thought “Should I scream?”
Then thought not, it would seem…
To be fair, it all rather depended.
Euclidean interlude
He persuaded a girl he’d befriended
To lie down, legs widely extended,
Said “Just a bit wider,”
Then, with his divider,
Bisected the angle subtended.
Unification theory
He saw life in terms mathematical;
Spent his entire sabbatical
Writing equations
For social occasions;
Praiseworthy, but rather fanatical.
Divide and conquer
Having surveyed her pudendal sector,
He worked out the right penile vector,
Then pencilled a mark
And, in one shallow arc,
Sweetly, neatly plunged in to bisect her!
The good life
After work he went out with the lads,
Then went home to his old Mum and Dad’s.
If his girlfriend came round,
Then they’d turn up the sound,
And she’d suck him off, during the ads.
The meek shall inherit
Like a lamb to the slaughter, she meekly
Gave in, though she protested weakly,
And then, when he’d done,
He said “Wasn’t that fun?”
“Oh yes, lovely”, she said, smiling bleakly.