Having kissed her of course, which he has,
Squeezed her tits, grabbed her snatch, all that jazz,
Got some head, what the hell,
Then a man might as well
Say they’ve fucked, or at least as good as!
Tag: tits
The shrew
He liked sex, but his sex drive was flagging;
His shrew of a wife and her nagging,
Her cold, mocking tone
Put him off, while her own
Tits and arse, all her best bits, were sagging!
Pimp my bride
Love betrayed! What a snake in the grass!
To be pimped! Such heartache! So low class!
Her illusions dispelled,
She danced nude, while he yelled,
“Swing your tits more, and shake your fat arse!”
Love, ostensibly
Getting drunk, passing out… not too sensible.
Groping her tits… reprehensible.
Yes, she was cute…
But to slip her a root?
Understandable, though indefensible!
Photocopy 1
Nice big boobs; bigger would have been floppier!
Giggling, she turns on the copier,
Presses her tits on it,
Turns round and sits on it;
Naughtier still, and much sloppier!
Photocopy 2
She got drunk at the firm’s Christmas party.
“Photocopy your tits!” yelled some smarty.
She laughed. “Yeah! What the hell!
Do my pussy as well!”
She thought, later, “Bit fuzzy, but arty!”
3D fantasy
The poor chap had been born quite myopic;
Girls’ tits were his favourite topic,
(Or pussies or arses),
And now he’s got glasses,
His perving is stereoscopic!
The honey pot
Said his father, “A word of advice;
Tits and pussies and bums may entice,
Which is all very well,
But the thing, truth to tell,
Is a chap’s fucking comes at a price!”
Coalition of the willing
At the bar he picked up a young redhead,
Nice tits, (but a bit of a dead-head),
And willing enough;
Didn’t mind he got rough,
Being spanked or hand-cuffed to the bed-head.
Time exposure
She said “Bloody hell! This is the pits!
Tied up, stark naked, freezing my tits!
And you haven’t done much,
But take photos and such;
If it’s hard yet, let’s see where it fits!”