Despite all of their labial frippery;
Never mind how they smell kippery,
Pussies are cute,
And they’re lovely to root,
Soft and shiny, and cosy and slippery!
Tag: root
Assimilation
A young gwai lo who lived in Hong Kong,
In an effort to seem to belong,
Screwed a Chinese girl, twice,
Which, although it was nice,
Nonetheless sort of felt, somehow, wrong.
Listen to your elders
As she aged, Gran, once harsh, seemed to soften:
“My girl,” she once said, “have sex often!
Go out, get a man;
Root as much as you can,
‘Cause you won’t get fucked much in the coffin!”
No illusions
Fucking’s fucking, she thought, crude and graceless,
That romance crap totally baseless.
When in the right mood
She quite liked being screwed,
Though the men that she rooted were faceless.
Rutting season
He was big, he was handsome and strong.
Though she knew that to root him was wrong,
She just knew that she would,
Though she tried to be good,
Poor sweet virgin, alas! (Not for long!)
Modern ethos
She smokes dope, she’s a bit of a boozer,
But not, like, a regular user.
She hangs mostly with guys;
They root sometimes. Surprise!
Just for fun. She’s not some kind of loser!
Improvisation
In a pinch, when she’s horny, she’ll root
The dog’s bone, a doll’s leg, bits of fruit,
A wine bottle, shampoo,
Heel of boot, toe of shoe;
Once an oboe! Or was it a flute?
The ship’s cook
At the risk of provoking a mutiny.
Once she’d subjected to scrutiny
All of the crew,
She should choose one, she knew,
Though she didn’t, in fact, want to root any!
Spectator sport
One would think a root quite hard to botch;
Wham, bam into a slippery crotch!
Though it’s not rocket science
Or battling with giants
It might depend who’s there to watch.
Victorian morality
She enjoyed a root, just on the quiet.
One day she’d said yes, just to try it.
Her gentleman friends
Were just means to her ends.
If found out, she’d just flatly deny it.